How to Deal with Negativity on the Internet

By May 4, 2015Blogging Tips

What would our lives be like without the internet? It’s so hard to imagine now because there are so many great things about it that improve our lives every day. Yet, it seems like negativity on the internet only continues to grow. It makes sense why there are hate sites that exist, some people enjoy being negative and breaking other people down because it makes them feel better about themselves, it’s often the areas that they struggle with that they end up picking apart in someone else’s life. Additionally, there are more and more people putting themselves out there on personal blogs. This adds plenty of fuel to the fire for those looking for stuff to comment on.

It’s nearly impossible to silence out the negativity that’s directed towards us. I’m writing this article for a number of reasons. It’s not to complain about the existence of negative people or to plead for them to stop. That would be a weak move and a waste of time because it’s part of the business we are in and it’s probably not going away. I think it’s important to bring the topic back up and encourage bloggers to discuss openly. This post should help you develop your own strategy for handling negativity. If we are smart, we can reduce how much it bothers and prevents us from doing what we want to do with our lives and businesses. We shouldn’t completely ignore negativity but we also shouldn’t pick a fight with anyone that has something bad to say about us. Hopefully this post will help.

Types of Negativity

Through blogging Julia and I have encountered three types of negative people on the internet. People that can’t comprehend how something comes to be, disgruntled followers and just plain assholes. When receiving negativity it’s important to distinguish from whom the message is being broadcast by so that you can follow your strategy for handling the negativity. Another thing to consider is if the commenter is anonymous or not. If a commenter has the guts to leave a comment and provide their real identity, then the least you can do is read what they have to say. Let me break it down on how to best receive and handle negativity from each group.

Non-Comprehenders

Negativity can root from confusion. When things don’t add up in the minds of followers it can frustrate them. Take their criticism as a challenge for you to be more clear about how you explain things. Or, in the case of highly personal information, ignore their comments. Things like money and relationship status are areas of your life that people have no business knowing about. Anyone that doesn’t “get” life enough to know not to ask or comment on personal areas of your life, should be ignored. As an example, I think a lot of people are confused by traveling and how much bloggers spend, they must think that you have to come from a “billionaire” family to pay for everything.

Let me clear something up for anyone that doesn’t understand the blogging industry. Bloggers have little to no overhead, for the most part running these websites is super cheap, nearly all revenue that bloggers receive turns into profit. Finally, our biggest expenses, Clothing, Travel, Computer and Camera equipment are all directly related to the operation of our businesses. It’s a lot easier to pull the trigger on these purchases if they are helping to build our businesses.

Disgruntled Followers

Disgruntled followers are followers of yours that have, at one time, liked or even loved your online personality but they no longer agree with some of the things that you are doing. It’s important when fielding criticism from this group to try and put yourself in their shoes. Try to understand why they have developed the opinion that they have. People that have followed for a long time can often form critical opinions if they feel that they are being alienated. The way that bloggers handle revenue driving efforts can also make these types of followers unhappy. For the most part, people don’t like the feeling of constantly being sold to.

These followers are all smart, most have followed for a long time so they know where you have been, they might even feel like they have a certain “equity” in your blog if they feel that they are partially responsible for your growth. So take their feedback constructively. Search for something to pull out from what they are saying. I’ll talk about it further in the post but as long as what they’re saying works with your current path then you should listen to them and make the adjustment.

For example, Julia received a comment from a frustrated reader about not answering questions on her blog. Julia’s immediate thought was to get defensive and say something along the lines of “considering the volume of reader emails that I get I try my best but I can’t get to them all”. But instead she commented back and agreed she could be doing a better job and thanked the reader for the constructive criticism.

Assholes and Know-it-Alls

Pure haters are people that have a pretty good understanding of the business that you are in. For whatever reason they feel the need to exploit that knowledge to go out of their way (wasting their time) to be vicious. With Assholes, make sure to stand up for yourself. The good thing about Asshole comments is they’re often idiotic, there is either little to no truth in what they have to say or they are commenting on something that you cannot change. For instance, let’s say you aren’t stick skinny and are often criticized for being fat. If you’re confident in your body and yourself, let that person know they can’t break you down. If you’ve ever noticed someone else being ganged up on for something completely uncalled for, try and defend them; believe me it feels great when someone else sticks up for you.

In the case of Know-it-alls they exist because they apparently have never done a wrong thing in their life. As an example I’m sure they have memorized exactly what items can go in Compost vs. Recycling vs. Trash . What gets them off is finding someone doing something they think is wrong so that they can call them out on it. I have to admit that I’m a bit of a Know-it-all and it can feel good to be right about things but it takes an Asshole to tell someone else (that they don’t even know) how to live their life. My favorite attitude to have about these commenters is to ignore them, simply for the fact that if we as human beings are so concerned about all the possible things we could do wrong, we would never end up doing anything with our lives.

Other Guidance

Responding

Choosing when to respond to a comment is incredibly difficult. Know by responding that you are turning a comment into a conversation. Keep the conversation constructive and meaningful. Ask yourself if you’re responding in a way to make yourself feel better or responding in a way that actually needs to be said. Use sarcasm fragilely as you can come off as inconsiderate. The least ideal situation would be if your response stirs the pot even more. Fighting fire with fire is rarely a good idea.

Tone of voice

When we speak in person to other people we can sense the tone of their voice. We can tell if they are mad, sarcastic, joyful or a hundred other emotions. This helps us decipher what people really mean when they say something. On the internet, it’s hard to know what someone really means. If you ever have a question about it, ask the person to further clarify. They are either going to climb back in their hole or they are going to think about their response (since their first comment was probably not well thought out) and they will probably write something that’s constructive that you have the option to accept or deny.

Believe in yourself

Congratulations, you’ve at least made it in someway. If you have people hating on you it means that you must be doing something right. One of my friends jokingly prides herself in the size of her thread on a certain hate site. It’s important to continue believing that the path you have started down is the right path. You can continue to evolve and improve but make sure that the direction is based on what you want and what your data analysis is telling you.

For instance, a lot of fashion bloggers start out wearing more budget friendly outfits. As they start growing they start making money, it’s only natural that they will start accumulating more expensive clothing, shoes and accessories. While hopefully their style doesn’t change much, they no longer cater to the budget friendly audience, this often fuels a lot of hate because a big chunk of the original audience can’t fully relate to that blogger anymore. I know plenty of bloggers that have gone through this life cycle and you probably know of some too, shit, that was essentially our lifecycle. I can’t speak for other bloggers but I know we made that decision because it was the path that we wanted to go down to build a premium brand and all of our data continues to support that conscious decision that we made.

If you find yourself listening too much to what others think you should be doing remember it’s never too late to make a change. Figure out what you want to do and do that. In order to make changes, you have to believe in yourself and not worry about alienating others.

The truth can hurt the most

It’s our natural instinct to get defensive when someone challenges us. The next time something really gets to you, try to fight the urge to be defensive. Be honest with yourself about why it bothers you so much. I’ve found that the more truth there is in the criticism, the worse it can make you feel. Sometimes the truth hurts the most. Reflect on what you’ve had your eyes opened to and use that as motivation to improve.

Stay positive

Have you ever noticed how you can receive 90% or more positive comments but somehow the 1 or 2 negative comments are all you can think about? Screw the negativity and focus on the positive. There are so many metrics that we have that can help reaffirm what we are doing right. Take some time to read the emails and comments your followers send you. Write back to them and thank them, it’s not until you respond to them that you really feel proud of what you are doing. In the same way that you should stand up against negativity for the people that you love to follow, make sure you also go out of your way to say something encouraging to them. We’ve gained a lot of great friends through blogging and I try to go out of my way to make sure they feel recognized for the great job they are doing.

Try not to delete negativity

Sometimes I want to delete negative comments, other times I want to remove a photo if the whole conversation has turned sour. For the most part, I now believe this is a childish move. When I’ve irrationally silenced other people’s voices it’s actually been more painful when they called me out on it compared to the original criticism. Notice that I say “try not to delete negativity”, I changed that from “never delete negativity” because if something bothers you so much and it’s not constructive, then delete it if you feel it’s necessary. In the end, much like having a driver’s license, people have the privilege and not the right to say whatever they want. You are the owner of your Instagram photos and your blog comments, so if you find someone is abusing that privilege, as the sole governing authority, you can block them or delete what they have to say.

Go to your happy place

Dealing with negativity can leave you in a depressive mood. It’s important that you can find somewhere or something that gets your mind off of the negativity and makes you happy. Try to find something healthy to do as short term solutions might not be the best habits to form. One of my happy places is being outside, especially in an amazingly beautiful place. It brings me a lot of joy to take landscape and wildlife pictures. Other really great options are working out, yoga and meditation.

One final note on finding your happy place, make sure that you are continuing to develop non-digital relationships with other people. It’s easy to become a hermit and get sucked up in this digital age where our moods can fluctuate depending on how well an Instagram photo does. If you are lucky enough to work from home and set your own schedule it’s often hard to motivate yourself to leave your house and make sure you go out of your way to see your friends in the flesh. Having fun, catching up and laughing with friends is great for relieving stress and reminding you of the more important things in life.

It’s important to talk about the issues you are having

When you feel like you’re constantly being attacked you might start to feel alone. Many other people are going through what you are going through. Strike up a conversation with anyone and see if they have to deal with negativity. You’d be amazed how much better you’ll feel when you realize you aren’t alone. When talking with other people that put themselves out to the public, make sure you discuss your strategy for dealing with negativity. Tackling negativity as a problem that can be solved will turn your mind to focus on the challenge at hand.

 

30 Comments

  • Elizabeth says:

    Great advice! It is so good to hear how a large blog like yours deals with the negativity out there! I haven’t run into much but the “know-it-all” comments are just starting to occasionally pop up as I’ve grown. I love how you have laid it out! Some are good for us to acknowledge while others should simply be ignored!

  • Katie S says:

    Most definitely the best blog post I have read all day. You two are the absolute best and handle everything with so much grace and dignity. Keep on keeping on 🙂

  • Ashley says:

    Hi Thomas,

    Let me start by saying I commend you for writing this post. More bloggers should be addressing these things, and it’s nice to see the elephant in the room being acknowledged. However, I have to admit that I read this entire post and related every single point you made back to a single textbook, Services Marketing by Valerie Zeithalm, Mary Jo Bitner, and Dwayne Gremler. To clarify, I am NOT a rep for the publisher, but I AM a marketing student who took a services marketing class and this book was exactly the background research that would have helped you write this post. I highly recommend that you and Julia buy a copy of this text, go through it front to back, and relate every single concept back to your business (I’m confident that 90% of the topics will apply). At the end of the day, bloggers are marketers: they market themselves and they market their affiliates (obviously you know this, or you wouldn’t have written this post). Keeping yourselves up to date on the fundamentals of services marketing might make it a lot easier to deal with different types of complainers (by the way, there are four), and this textbook will also tell you exactly which types of attention each complainer responds to best. Look at it as a playbook of sorts!

    Maybe you’ll ignore this, but as a fellow marketer I feel the strange need to give you tips that might help you improve your business. I really did enjoy the post, and I think you are both doing a great job dealing with negativity. Have a wonderful evening!

    Ashley

  • Jessica says:

    Really loved this post! Great article on rising above the negativity and keeping your goal at the forefront of your mind. Nothing worth doing is easy! Thanks so much for sharing! I love your wife’s blog and yours has quickly become a favorite! Your tips are fantastic- Keep them coming! 🙂

  • Lauren says:

    Thomas,

    Your blog is thrilling to read. By writing this content you’re providing an incredible amount of transparency to GMG, and if readers who feel frustrated by the shift in target audience can’t empathize with that kind of honesty, it’s truly their loss. Giving readers this accessibility is impressive and admirable.

    My mom saw your mom a few weeks ago and said that you and J are giddy happy. Great to see you living your dream of traveling and making your work work for you. Best wishes to you both!

    Lauren

  • Lulu says:

    Best thing I’ve read on this subject. On a personal note I live in Cow Hollow & love when I see you & you Julia out & about. Continued success to you both.

  • Ann Krembs says:

    Thomas! You are awesome!

    What a thoughtful AND thought provoking post. You are so wise, and many of us need to read this. I’m not to the point of too much negativity, so that’s good, but my comments have been increasing and I do respond to each one–so far.

    I do have a funny story though. This fall I had this totally awesome experience. A local based clothing line in Hong Kong collaborated with me. It was my first loan of clothes, so I was feeling pretty cool! I used a model and styled her, took the photos, made some cool edits. Basically I felt really proud of this post. The numbers of views were comin’ in hot! I was so excited. A couple of days later though, with a closer eye to my referrals, I noticed that all those clicks and views were being channeled from a weird looking site. I’m sure you know the hate site I’m talking about….Well! Low and behold, folks were not visiting the post I was so proud of. They were visiting another one from months earlier, and they were ripping me to pieces! At first, my stomach was so nervous: I felt hot and sick all at once. But then, as it all settled in, I just had to laugh. Here I was so proud, but really all the views were from haters. It was at this point that I thought to myself, “Well bad publicity is still publicity right!?”

    Oh, joy. If we are blogging and putting ourselves out there, we are doing just that–putting ourselves out there. All I can do is model good behavior. And, as a school librarian during my days, I can try to keep educating children about how to be good citizens in both their real lives and virtual ones too.

    Again, great article Thomas. I really appreciate you sharing your wisdom. I am not sure how long you have been writing, but you mentioned early followers. Am I one of them?! 😀

    Thanks again.

    Ann from Kremb de la Kremb

  • Tanya Foster says:

    Thomas,

    Great job! I love your articles and how supportive you are of Julia. Thank you for sharing! xoxo- Tanya
    http://www.FilmFashionFun.com

  • Neep says:

    GOMI was spot on with their critique of your blog.

    • Thomas says:

      Please share, I’m always open for feedback.

    • Sharon says:

      I am a regular reader of GMG and I love looking at both Julia and Thomas’ Instagrams. I also am a frequent reader on the GOMI page regarding GMG – it’s actually quite hilarious the things people nitpick at, and no, GOMI scouts, I have never commented and I read it for humour so reading it is not the same as commenting . Sorry Neep, but most comments on GOMI are from jealous assholes who will never be pleased. My favourites are from the people who comment “They’re obviously reading here. Hi Juju!”. As business people, it is very smart for both Thomas and Julia to read the negative feedback as they have been using a lot of it as constructive criticism. I recall a discussion on GOMI about an “awkward” pose Julia was doing to show off a shoe, and someone suggested Thomas taking a closeup picture of the shoes instead. They now take close up pictures of the shoes, and people were snarking about it! There is literally no winning with the sad souls who write these comments.

      If something really truly bothers somebody about a blog, why not just send an email to them with your concerns? OR here is an absolutely insane idea! Stop following them 😮

      Keep up the fantastic work, Julia and Thomas!

      • Amanda says:

        Preach it girl! For the haters…why do you keep reading the blogs if you hate them THAT much?! They are spending an awful lot of time fixated on something they hate. Take note-Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. Also, it makes me kind of sick how people can say such nasty things about people they’ve never even met.

  • Sarah says:

    While it is unfortunate that negativity exists in the world, I think that you miss a really big point in what a lot of your readers and Julia’s readers try to emphasize in that your lifestyle and way you present yourselves is really hard to relate to and sometimes frustrating for readers who have followed GMG back from the beginning. Sure there are definitely haters who have nothing else to do but comment and spread negative remarks but I think it also frustrates people who once saw GMG as a fun, relatable blog. It has now turned into a blog focused solely on delayed posts and minimal upkeep. I for one think more videos and how-to tutorials would be really beneficial. It also seems that when people do post feedback and review of GMG that isn’t “oh my gosh love your blog!” Julia just approaches it with an “I don’t care it’s my life you don’t have to read it” attitude as opposed to stepping back, taking in the review, and maybe trying to let her readers know she will take it into consideration. No matter what the two of you have a business and part of that business isn’t shutting down people who might provide feedback or voice frustration. I strongly encourage you to try to take a step back and look at the viewpoint of long time readers and followers and even people who have just joined the fan base as opposed to automatically counting them as negative people.

  • Casey says:

    I don’t think people are trying to “break you down”. I, for one, have followed Julia’s blog for years and have never made a negative comment there or on IG…but when most of us everyday, average people go to work daily from approx. 8-4 to earn an average salary and pay our average mortgage and drive our average cars, it’s a little outlandish to see people like you and Julia taking vacations and/or mini breaks every few WEEKS. And, clearly, you both act as if it’s not a big deal and everyone does it, blah blah. Dude, it’s not normal unless you’re basically a Hilton sister. So I think if you both continue posting constant vaycay pics on IG then you kind of have to pick a side. Just admit that you’re privileged above and beyond the average person or don’t post sunsets from every continent so often.

    **Side note–I’m not posting this as a jealous hater. I have a Masters degree, am married to a lawyer who went to an Ivy-league law school and own a 5,000 sq. foot home. I’m not exactly roughing it. But because we have jobs that require daily attendance, as well as student loans, as well as a home that we own and want to decorate well, we go on (maybe) one vacation a year and it’s a big deal for us and we appreciate it.**

    • Thomas says:

      Our goal is to create the best, most engaging content that we can. While it feels like an endless journey to constantly get better, it appears to be working well for us. We have also prepared ourselves for some followers to not agree with everything that we do. In handling the feedback from these people we have certainly made some mistakes but we hope to continue to improve. Sometimes when you are telling it like it is, it can be portrayed as complaining.

      I wrote this article to continue to bring up the topic of negativity on the internet. I just attended a conference with over 200 bloggers and not once was negativity and how to deal with it discussed. Most people that provide this much access to their lives have to deal with some forms of negativity, so there’s no reason to suppress it. While a portion of negative comments have no business being said in the first place, a lot of negative comments offer opportunities to make positive changes. Consider the fact that you and a couple of other people have followed me all the way to my blog to share what you have to say, I think that’s incredible and we should at least consider the thoughts of our long time followers.

  • Kristin says:

    Thomas,

    I would like to commend you on your post about dealing with negativity. I can’t imagine the level of scrutiny you both face and find it unfair that so many hit below the belt with stupid, uneducated comments about weight, looks, questions about income, etc. I wanted to reach out because I have been a long-time follower of GMG…

    Each morning when I arrive at work, I grab a tea and sit at my desk to catch up on e-mails, check a few blogs (GMG being one of them) and then the news. I work in a professional environment dominated by males so the fun, frivolous and feminine content on GMG provides an escape and is something I look forward to reading daily. Not unlike yourselves, my husband and I are in our mid-twenties, we both earn significant salaries and we enjoy traveling, fashion, great food and the company of good friends.

    Being a reader who can afford a similar lifestyle and who works in a professional environment, I sometimes wish the content posted on GMG would have more teeth behind it- think “less fluff, more stuff.” I’m not saying fewer grammatical errors in posts- no one is perfect. But the whole “I love sunsets!” “I love scouting locations for shoots” schtick doesn’t make for engaging content (at least not for educated readers) on a blog. I would like to think one who is so well traveled, has such great taste and who seemingly has the world at her fingertips is also well read and has meaningful thoughts. An example of a post I recently really enjoyed: what to pack for Napa. We will be heading out west in September and I found the post very helpful! Not every post has to be laden with advice and tips, but I personally tend to enjoy those that are and barely skim those that aren’t.

    I understand GMG is not a “lifestyle blog” per-say, but you guys do sell this sort of elevated way of living. I wish You &/or Julia would occasionally share a book you’re reading, what (non-fashion) websites you might check daily, recipes if you cook, etc. even if just once a month. It’s OK to have outside interests! I think there is a real reliability issue with the site right now and I believe showing interest in things other than pretty sunsets and bows and the color pink might help out in that department and keep some of your readers from feeling so alienated. We need to, on occasion, see that there is more to each of you than just a pretty face and (seemingly) frivolous spending! I want to feel like I can “grow with the site,” if you will.

    I wish you both continued success and hope this translates in to something positive for GMG!

    • Thomas says:

      This is a very helpful comment that both Julia and I enjoyed reading. We will be working in posts with more substance as you have requested. We hope that you and other dedicated readers will notice a difference in the near future. If you have any other ideas don’t hesitate to share them directly with us.

      • Becca says:

        Love this! I love following GMG and I think this is a great step for the blog! As a young twenty something married professional, I also love reading the blog as something I relate to, and I often wonder what recipes you two like, what you read on your airplane rides, etc. think the additional content will further increase engagement.

        Also, hats off to you for writing a post about negativity! I think you and Julia handle yourselves with class and it’s too bad that you ever have to deal with this. Its unfortunate that people stop behaving like people once they’re on the Internet. Thanks for calling attention to it.

    • Casey says:

      Nailed it, Kristin! Without a doubt GMG has the most user-friendly site design (and fits with the aesthetic Julia portrays across other networks) but the surface-level content does get a bit boring and has caused me to stop checking in on a regular basis.

      Looking forward to seeing more substance in your posts, Julia & Thomas!

  • Kristine says:

    Thomas,

    While I appreciate the honesty in the post, I’m a little put off by the fact that you refer to some of your audience as “assholes”. I can’t imagine dealing with as much negativity as you and Julia experience on a daily basis, or the fact that there are websites dedicated to criticizing you and your wife (along with other bloggers). Not knowing exactly how old you are, I’m in my late 20’s, work in corporate America and would never refer to my clients or prospective clients as assholes. In my opinion, this shows a lack of professionalism and maturity on your part. I understand your frustrations and yes, there are jerks in the world, but there comes a point where you have to rise above it and move on rather than discuss it on a blog that is your business. I’m all for defending oneself in a professional manner when the criticism is taken too far and becomes a personal attack, but find a better way to defend yourself rather than calling someone an asshole.

    I commend you and Julia for discussing that your GMG blog isn’t about just taking photos and posting them, but that there is a significant amount of time taken to edit photos. Have you or Julia ever thought about providing a post of what you do behind the scenes? Share imagines of you two editing photos or selecting photos for your website? I don’t think your audience understands how much time can go into this process. My husband is a web designer and I see the amount of time it can take to select the best photos, editing the photos, etc. Also, maybe even provide a post on why you travel to specific locations for your job. People see this (including myself) as you and Julia taking another vacation. I’m sure there is more to it, but on the GMG blog, there’s no mention as to why you’re in St. Lucia or Mexico, etc. etc.

    I look forward to continue following you, Julia and the GMG blog. I really enjoy your photos and love seeing the world through another person’s eyes. I wish you both continued success!

  • Noyemi says:

    I have been following GMG since the very beginning and I LOVE watching its growth. Often I find myself referring to your site for outfit inspiration for vacation! I’m so glad you wrote this post because I’ve known people to refer me to a not so friendly site to read comments about the blogger I support and I couldn’t bare scrolling through the pages. I commend you for speaking up with a well thought out post. It takes courage and strength to battle the negative opinion of others with such class. Touche!

  • Joy says:

    Hi there, I’m a longtime GMG reader (since mid-2012… I first visited the blog after Julia was chosen by Kate Spade to be featured for graduation). I discovered GOMI recently when another blogger tweeted about it. I read through some of Julia’s thread, and minus some unpleasant and unnecessary comments about apperances, most people seemed like they fall under your “disgruntled followers” section. I, for one, still read the blog, follow on Instagram, and live vicariously through you guys. I really love the new poses and backdrops lately- your photography skills are really great and I can tell you’ve gotten better. SO I was happy also to see you had a blog (thanks to College Prepster to linking here!!)
    I will say though, that recently some comments that you made rubbed me the wrong way. I think it’s great that you and Julia are traveling so much and I totally don’t blame you… if I had the money that you are making from the blog while, like you said, having a career that allows you to be very mobile, I would do the same. It seemed like a huge put-down to readers, to imply that you are traveling for work the same way that someone travels for business… I understand that you are traveling AND working, but you have both also posted about pool days, and when you are gone for a week and post 5 blog posts, obviously you could not have been “working” the entire time the way that someone works when they travel for business. Again, I am not saying that you shouldn’t travel, just to maybe be upfront with readers that you two love to travel and want to do so while you’re young, and you are lucky enough to be able to travel and work at the same time. Just my opinion, because it seems other people have been sharing theirs.
    Also, next time you are in Mexico, I strongly recommend getting into some of the cities!! My mom’s side of the family is from Guanajuato and it is a beautiful place with lots of culture and history. I saw you were in Jalisco recently, albeit on the coast, but head inland next time! Great culture, food, and great places to take photos (look up the colorful buildings in Guanajuato!)

  • Jennifer says:

    “If you have people hating on you it means that you must be doing something right.”

    So, I think this is a largely problematic POV to have. Hear me out. Except for the bit about the “Assholes” in the middle, I think this post was fairly well written and thought through, Bravo. But I did take slight issue with this statement, as I do when anyone tries to communicate any variation of it. I honestly don’t think that it’s true. While maybe 99% of the time you (you, as in anyone, not you specifically!) might be doing something right and be “hated” for it unjustly, when it comes to the 1% that you’re not, if you’ve convinced yourself that this is in fact true, you’re not going to recognize and learn/grow from that. This statement works to preemptively absolve people of all responsibility for their actions, and I think it’s important to maintain a realistic sensibility about ourselves and our work. But that’s just me.

    Hopefully that all makes sense. And I hope that it’s clear that I’m not targeting you in particular. I just really dislike the mindset that that type of thinking can sometimes lead to (e.g. the Kanye West, “I am a god who can do no wrong” mindset, sigh). And being the occasional reader, only stopping by here or GMG whenever an interesting post title pops up in my feedly, maybe my opinion carries less weight to it, but again, nice job on this post. It really is one of the better (and least visceral) posts I’ve read on this super touchy subject! 🙂

  • Joanna says:

    What a great website, love it! Awesome to know where bloggers come from as it is a totally foreign but cool concept to me (I’m a nurse:) very insightful post. Sometimes I can’t believe the comments that are made on Instagram pictures, I’m so glad bloggers are professional about it because sometimes my feelings are hurt for you guys. People can be so… Stupid 🙂

  • Madelaine says:

    What a great read and a great blog! Your blog made GMG and you and Julia more ” real” . Btw, I meant that as a positive criticism. I started a blog to use as a platform ( other than FB) to share my experiences and in doing so got criticize ( I don’t even have the same number of subscribers!) People complain about our spending , etc. but you see my husband is a surgeon and although I don’t share that kind of information of blog, people just assume we live frivolously . Anyway, thanks again for the tip and wishing you both continued success.

  • Grace says:

    Wow Thomas! I truly enjoyed reading this. Very insightful & it makes me like you & Julia even more! Lol. I noticed that you hit the main points of negativity out there regarding Gal Meets Glam blog. I have been reading Julia’s blog when she first started & was still wearing/posting clothes from H&M, so i can see why some people feel like they can’t relate anymore. I have to admit that sometimes i do too, but i totally understand that this is a business & that to grow you have to move in the direction that brings growth. So, I’m not hating, but instead congratulating on the immense success of GMG!!!

  • Ana W says:

    Great post Thomas. I feel like people don’t address this issue of “negativity” enough. It’s the problem no one wants to deal with or talk about but we all have to tackle it at one point or another. Thank you for the tips and insight 🙂

  • Alvaro808 says:

    I’d add that one of the best ways to deal with a bad situation is to make fun of it. Humor always helps to relieve tension, especially when online conversations turn toxic. And yes, it never hurts to take a break from your computer or other electronic device and enjoy the outdoors. I’d even argue that it’s ESSENTIAL for people who are using computers all day to enjoy the outdoors (or at least go outside and do something else). Too much online negativity saps the soul and makes you feel like the world’s a crappy place. And that’s never a good feeling to have.

    Aloha.

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